did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
