It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
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I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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