I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
