brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I want to walk on stilts...naked
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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