saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
