i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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