he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
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Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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