There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
