If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
