i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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