My nipple is on Facebook.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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