Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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