you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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