Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
