dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
