What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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