i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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