Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
