i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
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