So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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