No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
not ubering you a puppy
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
