So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
