Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
