I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
