is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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