life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
