I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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