Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
