On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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