my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
nutella sex= disaster
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
