Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize