I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
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