Sry I called you an 8
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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