Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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