this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
