I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
