Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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