Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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