It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
