THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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