we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
