talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
