Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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