oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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