dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
