Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
