Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sext me about skeletons
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize