It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
