I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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