I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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