Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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