I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
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Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
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I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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