omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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