road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
