Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
