in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
