ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?