it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
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What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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