then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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