Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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