Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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