I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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