theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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