its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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